Waiting

Waiting is a curse when you hear enough information to make you think something sinsiter is going on.

Waiting for the doctor, you get there, explain what was wrong, told to ‘try these’ tablets for two weeks, and then when you went back and ask for a Consultant referral letter, they say ‘ dont waste your money Ina’, more tablets and another two weeks, you go back to the same Surgery but see a different doctor, more tablets and also another two weeks.   You wait a further two weeks, go back and you are now begging, with private health insurance under your belt, for a Consultants letter.   A different doctor listens to you for 1 minute, then asks to be reminded of your children’s names and where they live just so he could fill ten minutes of his time.  Then for a fourth time you go back and finally get a referral letter, this took almost eight weeks.

So eight weeks after you felt very ill, you finally get your hands on the gold, a letter for a Consultant, you get a cancellation appointment and are fitted in a few days later, you explain what is wrong, they book you in for the next day.  Two days later you get a CAT and scope of your stomach and feel elated that something is being done, however, life takes on a whole new meaning when the Consultant says, we need you back for a biopsy.

Ina went in went for a biopsy, as it turned out they took 4 biopsies and a test of the fluid on her stomach, now we are waiting for news, it is a wait filled with all kinds of fears for the future, and a wait that is worse for herself and my Dad, as children we assume our parents are invincible, but wait we must, hopefully by Thursday we will know either way.

——-

We didn’t have to wait til Thursday, on Saturday Ina was so dehydrated and weak from not being able to eat or drink anything she fell gravely ill.  A phonecall to the Bons resulted to her being brought to Beaumount where her Consultant was on duty.  She was taken in and hooked up to a drip and bombarded with the necessary tests.  We were all strangely happy with this event.  Having seen her so ill, we were all delighted she was getting the treatment she desperately needed.  When I visited on Sunday, all tests had been carried out and again it was a waiting game for results.  Ina was in great form, very upbeat and positive.  She was incredibly frail looking but her stomach was so extended with fluid, if she was in her 30’s you would think she was 6 months pregnant.

Monday, more phonecalls to find out if there was any news, again more waiting, and worrying.  No news yet, so we park the fear and enjoy another day of not knowing, bizarrely!  A phonecall to my sister though raises my suspicions.  John, my Dad, has been asked to be in the hospital tomorrow at 10.30.  Beaumount are strict regarding visiting, strictly 3-4 and 6-8.  Today, Tuesday arrives.   Having been out at physio myself, I walked into the house to see my husband looking very serious saying ‘you need to ring Ingrid, its not good’.  As the tears welled up I walked towards a phone, before i even got to it, it started ringing.  It was my Dad … an emotional phonecall revealed Ovarian Cancer ……. our wait was over.  The fight was now on.

——

The fight ended Thurday night, half eight, what a shock and what a roller coaster it is.  It is now Saturday and Ina is gone. I had to prepare her room this morning, never saw it coming, but it did come.  We as a family will still be strong, minus one huge part of us, but we will, for a long time keep her kitchen clean and her sisters happy.

our very dear mother Ina is in our minds now, and what better place to have her.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Waiting

  1. How very brave of you to write this – I have to say you, your mum and your family have been very much on my mind this past week. I hope every day you can find something to smile about. Take care xx

  2. Barbara I just want to say how sad i feel for your loss it brings back the time when we lost our mam .as a family and it never gets any better for any of us .My mam was ill also for six weeks doing the same running around in beamount hospital in to see consultant after consultant and the final outcome was what we did not expet either .but throught the jigs and the reels of this life we some how manage to get through .any way may i just add and thank you for posting this story of Ina .you have just hightlighted the importance of the dreaded smear test that us women put on the back burner of our live’s and this proberly makes no sense as to why i would answer your blog .but as of monday comming the 30yh of sept i an now going to see the doctor for the smear test and hopefully it will be of the answer that my childern will need to hear.sorry for your loss .but can i also thank you for this story and hopfully all your female friens will make an apointment with there doctors to do yhe same. anyway thank you for sharing this personal time in your life . xxxx

    • Thank you so much Sandra, and dont worry, nothing you said is anything but heartfelt and nice. Sorry about your own Mam, I hope monday isnt too difficult for you xx. Many thanks.

      • Barbara thank you for sharing this very private time in your life. and my deepest sympathy to your family truly touched by your story and will always remember your mam with fond memories she was always great with my son jordan i dont know if you knew this but your mam and dad kinda took my jordan under there wing and i just will always remember there kindness.love to you and your family take care me
        little darling .xx

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